Brian: Three Years Old

Brian is now a month past turning three.  I wish I could capture his personality and his life somehow so that in the future we could look back and see what he was like at this age.  My words will not even come close to truly describing his character, but I guess something is better than nothing.  Truthfully, I have sat down several times to write about him since his Birthday, but little Bri Bri has given me so much trouble this last month that I wanted to wait until I had more positive feelings than frustrated feelings.  Admitting that there is some negativity when I think about describing Brian sounds absolutely horrible and it makes me feel like a bad mother, but I do hope that writing it down can help me sort through it all and learn from our experiences.

It seemed that the day of his birthday was a turning point for him.  The second he turned three it was like he decided to enter a new phase of defiance, back-talking, yelling, tantrums, and refusal refusal and refusal again to stay in bed. Yikes! What happened? I have no clue and I feel like all of my energy this last month has been spent trying to figure him out.  I'm pretty sure I've tried every last one of my own ideas and suggestions from others, but I do feel like I could use more advice and a good book about defiance and stubbornness in three-year-old boys. If anyone reading this has read something good that I could glean some more ideas from please share!  I know that one of the hardest things is keeping myself in check.  I get frustrated and in a sense have my own temper tantrums in response to Brian's actions. Patience, patience, and patience dominate my prayers and thoughts these days. 

I don't want anyone to think that Brian is a bad little kid, because really he is still a very good darling happy guy full of fun and laughter.  There are just a few added difficult moments during the days and nights that were not present a month ago. Moments like yesterday that started with him happily riding his trike (peddling all by himself) up the sidewalk with me (Timmy strapped to my back) following behind.  We made it to a little playground situated in some condos in the neighborhood.  I decided to let him play for awhile.  Awhile turned into a long while and Timmy started getting antsy and it was time to get home to prepare dinner.  I warned Brian that we would be leaving soon.  Then after a few minutes I said he could go down the slide two more times and then it was time to leave.  After the second time down the slide he came over to his trike like we were headed home without a fuss.  As he was about to get on his trike he suddenly decided he wanted to stay and play.  I tried convincing.  I tried rewards.  I tried threats.  Nothing.  He would not get on the trike and he would not walk.  In fact he was running away from me. The only thing I could do was pick him up and haul him home in one arm while I pushed the trike with the other.  I know we were quite a sight with Timmy in the backpack leaning over to look at Brian who was yelling and kicking and crying while I struggled to keep a hold of him and the trike and to keep my cool.  I gave him numerous chances to ride or walk.  He refused each time with very loud "NO's" and even louder screaming and crying.  Finally we made it home to a time-out and eventually he came to his senses.  He's like night and day that kid.  One moment he is absolutely adorable, charming and happy.  The next moment he is totally out of control.  Gratefully the majority of his day is spent in contentment.  It's just that those out of control moments are so crazy they seem to dominate the day or night. in which they occur.  I hope we figure it out soon.

Let's move on to the positive!  I'm glad I sat down to write about Brian, because when I do think about the wonderful things about him the list goes on and on and on.  He is just so funny and smart and the most observant three-year-old I have ever met.  I have noticed that he is particularly good at remembering things.  Yes, I realize most three-year-olds remember everything, but I have found it so fascinating to watch and be a part of this unbelievably fast rate of learning.  Brian remembers pretty much every person he meets and their names.  He remembers random buildings that we go to or pass by in the car.  He remembers streets and where they lead to.  He remembers people's cars and what they look like.  For example, when we drive into the church parking lot on Sunday mornings he will point out certain cars and name who they belong to.  We went visiting teaching the other day and I am lucky enough to have one of my good friends as a partner.  She has a daughter Brian's age and they are good friends as well.  As we were leaving our visit and getting into our cars he noticed that my friend was driving a different car than usual.  Brian had to know where their big black car was and why they were driving a different car.  When I told him the car had been in an accident and was being fixed he was very concerned and talked the whole way home about how Daddy should fix it for them.  Do most three-year-olds notice or care about what cars people are driving?  He must have his Dad's genes on that one.  

Speaking of fixing things, Brian will often set up fixing stations like the one below.  He'll pretend to work on his trains, tractors, cars, trucks and anything else he feels needs fixing.

Brian still loves playing outside.  He loves gathering things like leaves, sticks, snail shells, and pine cones.  He usually ends up giving them to Mark as presents when he gets home from work.  As you know from reading the story earlier, Brian has just recently learned how to ride his tricycle all by himself.  I need to take a picture of him.  He wears his helmet, but only if he can wear his hat underneath.  He says the helmet without the hat pulls his hair.  So he looks pretty funny riding his trike around, but I'm glad he's willing to wear the helmet.

We just feel like we've been waiting and waiting and waiting for consistent dry warm weather.

When we are playing inside Brian currently likes playing swords, pretending there is an owl in his room that is going to eat his toy mouse, and most recently he likes playing school.  He only knows about school from books and what I've told him.  I find it hilarious to see what he really thinks school is.  He has been wearing his little backpack around and I put our previously unused white board in his room.  He always wants me to come in his room and play school with him, which consists of him telling me what letters and numbers he wants  me to write on the white board for him.  He is very particular about where I write them too.  They have to be in the exact place he designates.  I think he'll have a shock when he goes to preschool and realizes that he cannot dictate what and where the teacher writes.  

At Brian's three year doctor's appointment he weighed just under 26 lbs. and is 37.5 inches tall.  That is still not even on the U.S. charts for weight and now up to 50% for height.  Our wonderful doctor always calms my worry by plotting Brian's weight on the World Health Organization chart where Brian falls at above 5% for weight.  The doctor says he's normal in comparison to kids around the world and that we have too many larger children in the U.S. that screw up the curve.  I'm glad he's not worried.  I do feed and feed and feed Brian as much as he'll eat.  It will be interesting to see how big he ends up being.

He seems to be beyond what is expected in all other developmental areas, which is nice to know.  We still are not sure if he is left handed or right handed.  He uses both, but definitely favors his left when eating and coloring.  

I love Brian so much and I feel bad that he has to be the guinea pig as I figure out how to raise children.  I hope I can be deserving of the blessing he is to us.